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  • What Lies Above, Beneath, and Apart: Hemingway and Hemingway

    Let’s start with a thought experiment.

    Step One: Imagine two huge icebergs, one representing Ernest Hemingway’s writing and the other representing everything else in his life. Imagine that these two icebergs sometimes bump up against each other and sometimes drift apart. Imagine that these icebergs are like the one Hemingway uses to make an analogy with effective writing (especially his): its “dignity of movement . . . is due to only one-eighth of it being above the water” (Death in the Afternoon).

    Step Two: Imagine that you decide to sculpt a new, smaller iceberg by synthesizing core elements of the two huge ones. Imagine that you challenge yourself to make seven-eighths of this sculpture visible above the water even as it has its own dignity of movement. Imagine that you develop what you regard as a viable vision of this iceberg.

    Step Three: Imagine that you undertake the task of converting this vision into a 6-hour documentary about Hemingway’s life and work for PBS. Imagine how you will craft that conversion so that it both remains true to the sculpture in your mind’s eye and appeals to a contemporary PBS audience.

    I’ll pause to give you some time to conduct all three steps of the experiment.

    I start with this thought experiment for three reasons (1) It helps capture the ambitious and daunting task that Ken Burns and Lynn Novick took on in making Hemingway, their three-part documentary that recently aired on PBS (April 5, 6, and 7). (2) The experiment highlights the larger purpose of the documentary, its goal of replacing the myth of Hemingway with a far more accurate and layered view of the life and the writing. The myth constructs him as the epitome of machismo, a man with prodigious appetites and the will and means to satisfy them as well as a man with extraordinary talent who produced an enduring stream of what he liked to call true sentences. Burns and Novick retain the idea of the talent but complicate everything else in ways I’ll discuss below, and, in so doing, they reposition the writing within the life. (3) The experiment invites each of us to think about how we would have constructed the relations between the writing and the life in our own distinctive ways.

    These three reasons, in turn, underlie my reflections here. On the one hand, I want to celebrate Burns and Novick’s execution of their challenging project: in breaking through the myth, they construct a much more complex and interesting Hemingway, a strange blend of strengths and weaknesses, virtues and vices, who has had more than the usual allotments of good fortune and bad.   On the other hand, when I took Steps One and Two of the thought experiment, I gave more attention to the writing than Burns and Novick do, and this attention led me to a different vision of the sculpted iceberg than the one that emerges in their documentary. I want to discuss my sense of the writing iceberg not to find fault with the documentary but use it as a spur to move some of what’s submerged there above the water line of the synthetic one.   First, though, a little more on Burns and Novick’s Hemingway.

    In keeping with its myth-busting purposes, the documentary gives considerably more attention to the life than to the writing for two interrelated reasons. First, the myth about the life dominates Hemingway’s legacy in American culture. He is a figure that many people who have never read his writing know something about—and even have opinions about. Changing those views requires a new biography more than new analyses of the writing. Second, the genre of documentary lends itself to a greater focus on the life because it is a fundamentally narrative genre, and because Hemingway’s life is filled with tellable events. Giving pride of place to the writing—or even giving it equal prominence—would be extremely difficult because its narrative raw material would be the single event, repeated multiple times, of the writer sitting down to write. Hard to imagine that even the PBS audience would sit still for much of that.

    In keeping with the goal of humanizing Hemingway, Burns and Novick give the greatest attention to his intense and fraught relationships with his four wives, Hadley Richardson, Pauline Pfeiffer, Martha Gellhorn, and Mary Welsh. Using Geoffrey Ward’s script, voiced by Peter Coyote, to supply the baseline narrative, the filmmakers show the good, the bad, and the ugly in Hemingway’s behavior toward these women. Ward’s script includes testimony from the women themselves and Burns and Novick enlist accomplished actors to voice that testimony: Keri Russell (Hadley), Patricia Clarkson (Pauline); Meryl Streep (Martha); and Mary-Louise Parker (Mary). More generally, Burns and Novick’s skills as visual storytellers lead them to interweave these voices with Hemingway’s (ventriloquized through Jeff Daniels) and with a range of other materials—photographs, newspaper articles, and newsreel footage—that often bring in other events. Although Burns and Novick do not offer substantial new revelations about Hemingway’s life, they call attention to some things that have circulated more widely among scholars than among the general public. Especially noteworthy is their attention to his interest in bending and even blurring standard gender roles and the consequences of that blurring for sexual encounters. Above all Burns and Novick succeed in making visible what lies beneath Hemingway’s behavior throughout his adult life, identifying both distant and proximate causes of it. Among the distant causes are his mother’s increasing disapproval and his own disappointment in his father; his being jilted by his first love, Agnes von Kurowsky, the British nurse he met in Italy, while serving as an ambulance driver during World War I, and whom he thought he was going to marry; his witnessing of combat and his own wounding. The more proximate causes include his willingness to promote an image of himself that eventually he could not live up to; his multiple concussions; his alcoholism (called his “overdrinking” by Mary); and of course the complex personalities and histories of the women he loved. Burns and Novick also make judicious use of interviews with Hemingway’s son Patrick, with Hemingway scholars and biographers, and with the psychiatrist Andrew Farah as they round out their portrait of the artist as a fascinating and flawed, charming and repulsive, young, middle-aged, and aging man.

    Even as they give greater prominence to the life, Burns and Novick make a valiant effort to highlight the writing and to explicate its power. The first image they show is the typescript for the opening of A Farewell to Arms, and they continue to sprinkle images of manuscript pages throughout the documentary, including ones for all the novels, for the nonfiction books, and for multiple short stories (“Up in Michigan, “Indian Camp,” “Hills Like White Elephants,” “The Snows of Kilimanjaro” and more). In addition, they employ the actor Jeff Daniels to read numerous excerpts from the writing, and Daniels does an exemplary job of bringing out the tones and rhythms of Hemingway’s remarkable prose. Furthermore, as Daniels reads, Burns and Novick guide their audiences to engage more deeply with the writing by putting evocative images on the screen, ones that capture moods while opening up rather than closing down interpretations.   To pick just a few telling examples: a dock in the gloaming to illustrate the setting of “Up in Michigan”; an oar pulling through the still water of a lake for the ending of “Indian Camp”; the exterior of stone building with a substantial set of stairs leading to an empty street for A Farewell to Arms and its final sentence (about which more below), “After a while I went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain.”

    Having prompted this engagement with the writing, Burns and Novick then rely on the commentary of a wide range of thoughtful, well-informed experts to explain how and why it’s often so powerful (and sometimes not). These experts include Hemingway’s recent biographers, Mary Dearborn and Verna Kale; notable contemporary fiction writers, including Michael Katakis (executor of the Hemingway estate), Tobias Wolff, Edna O’Brien, Tim O’Brien, Mario Vargas Llosa, Paul Hendrickson, and Abraham Verghese; and first-rate literary critics, including Stephen Cushman, Miriam Mandel, Susan Beegel, Marc Dudley, and Amanda Vaill. They even bring in John McCain to discuss his life-long engagement with For Whom the Bell Tolls.

    All these commentators are smart, engaging, and insightful. Wolff, for example, characterizes Hemingway’s effect on the writers who came after him by saying that “he changed all the furniture in the [writers]’ room.” Edna O’Brien frequently pushes back against the common view that Hemingway was a thorough misogynist and goes so far as to suggest that parts of A Farewell to Arms, her choice for his best novel, could have been written by a woman. Other arresting comments include on-target descriptions mingled with praise: Hemingway remade the language (Vaill); he goes beyond previously accepted boundaries (Katakis); he works against the modernist grain of difficulty that characterizes the fiction of James Joyce and William Faulkner (Cushman); he articulates a view of war that no one had ever articulated as clearly and powerfully before (Wolff); he creates a male character in “Hills Like White Elephants” whose subtle but incessant pushing to get his own way women will readily recognize (Mandel). Furthermore, in keeping with the myth-busting purpose of the film, these commentators also discuss what they regard as ethical failures in the man (his seemingly gratuitous meanness to other writers, even those who had advanced his career) and aesthetic ones in the writer such as Across the River and into the Trees.

    Yes, yes, yes, I nod. And then I think back to my thought experiment and what I would want to do to make what lies beneath the writing more visible. If I were to convert my vision of the sculpted iceberg into a documentary film, I might well use the same commentators, especially Wolff, Edna O’Brien, Cushman, and Mandel, but I would ask them to comment more consistently on the interrelations of three aspects of the writing: (a) the material Hemingway works with, (b) his treatment of that material, and (c) how that treatment guides readers’ inferencing about the characters and events in ways that significantly influence readers affective, ethical, and aesthetic responses. I even think such commentary would appeal to the PBS audience. To illustrate what I have in mind, I’ll discuss two texts that figure prominently in the first episode of the documentary (entitled “The Writer”), “Indian Camp,” and A Farewell to Arms.

    In “Indian Camp,” as Geoffrey Ward’s summary efficiently indicates, Nick accompanies his doctor father on an early morning trip to the eponymous camp, where he watches his father perform a successful but extremely painful Caesarean section with a jackknife on an Indian woman who undergoes the procedure without anesthesia. Once the operation is over, Nick and his father discover that the woman’s husband, who has been lying in the bunk above his wife, has slit his throat. That discovery changes the direction and emphasis of the story; rather than being one about birth and new life (and Nick’s father’s horribly insensitive treatment of the Indian woman—he tells Nick that “her screams are not important”), it becomes one about suicide and death. The ending, which Daniels reads with his typical skill, brings the story to an affecting conclusion, as Nick first asks his father questions about suicide and about dying and then retreats into his own thoughts. Here are the story’s last lines:

    “Is dying hard, Daddy?”
    “No, I think it’s pretty easy, Nick. It all depends.”

    They were seated in the boat. Nick in the stern, his father rowing. The sun was coming up over the hills. A bass jumped, making a circle in the water. Nick trailed his hand in the water. It felt warm in the sharp chill of the morning.

    In the early morning on the lake sitting in the stern of the boat with his father rowing, he felt quite sure that he would never die.

    Burns and Novick bring in Wolff and Cushman for commentary. Wolff makes the astute observation that Hemingway is working with sensational material but handles it in an unsensational way. Cushman nicely underlines the paradox of the ending, the juxtaposition of Nick’s knowledge that he’s going to die with his denial of that knowledge. Good stuff, as far as it goes. But let’s go a little further beneath the surface.

    Hemingway makes the sensational unsensational by restricting his audience to Nick’s perspective and, thus, having us take in the events as Nick does and then follow his struggle to process them. Furthermore, Hemingway’s treatment of that struggle demonstrates his impressive ability to deploy both dialogue and the representation of consciousness to guide his audience’s inferencing. Hemingway uses the dialogue to show that, although Nick’s father answers Nick’s questions with genuine care for Nick, the answers themselves are not particularly helpful because his father is not able to adopt Nick’s perspective. When Nick’s father says that the difficulty of dying “all depends,” the natural follow up would be “it depends on what, Daddy?” but Nick’s silence signals that he has now stopped trying to get insight from his father.

    Cushman’s comment on the ending perceptively points to the way the details of the scene play into Nick’s denial or evasion. But digging deeper reveals how much Hemingway both trusts and subtly guides his audience. Hemingway reports Nick’s misguided conclusion without any narratorial comment because Hemingway knows that his audience knows that he knows that Nick is in denial here. (That’s a mouthful, I realize, but one I hope you’ll find worth chewing on.) What’s more, Hemingway affectively aligns his audience with Nick, despite his denial, in part by inviting us to see how nature seems to support Nick’s conclusion. The rising sun, the jumping bass, the warm lake water juxtaposed with the chilly air: as we follow Nick’s perception of these things, we also feel his connection with the ongoing stream of life. Feeling that connection leads us to empathize with Nick in denial, even as we find it poignant. More generally, Hemingway turns the genre of loss-of-innocence narratives on its head by making “Indian Camp” a story in which the protagonist denies that he has lost his innocence. Paradoxically, however, the inferencing that Hemingway guides us through makes us register Nick’s loss even more deeply. We come away empathizing with Nick and admiring the artistry of his creator.

    The beginning and the ending of A Farewell to Arms provide even greater opportunities to reveal what lies beneath the writing iceberg. Here’s the famous opening paragraph, which Burns and Novick reproduce via a nice variation of their usual pattern with Hemingway’s writing. Daniels reads the first sentence and then forms a duet with Edna O’Brien, who reads the middle sentences with him; Daniels then yields the floor to O’Brien who reads the last one. This strategy highlights the rhythms of Hemingway’s prose.

    In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and plain to the mountains. In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving, and blue in the channels. Troops went by the house and down the road and the dust they raised powdered the leaves of the trees. The trunks of the trees too were dusty and the leaves fell early that year and we saw the troops marching along the road and the dust rising and leaves, stirred by the breeze, falling and the soldiers marching and afterward the road bare and white except for the leaves.

    Cushman calls this passage a demonstration of “rhythmic mastery” that also “breaks all the rules” (no one before Hemingway would use “and” fifteen times in four sentences), and O’Brien suggests that Hemingway is applying what he learned about rhythm and repetition from Bach’s music to English prose. Again, good stuff, but let’s dig deeper by looking at material, treatment, and inferencing.

    Material: nature in the form of the river, the plain, the mountains, the blue water moving swiftly in the river channels, the leaves on the trees; humans whose presence disrupts that nature.

    Treatment: the first-person perspective of a soldier in the village, who, we learn later, is a young American called Frederic Henry.

    Inferencing: Hemingway guides his audience to see more about the scene than Frederic himself does. More specifically, Hemingway invites his readers to recognize that (a) the causal connections between the presence of the troops and the disruption of nature—”the dust they raised powdered the leaves of the trees . . . and the leaves fell early that year”—and thus the general destructiveness of the war; and that (b) Frederic does not register those connections, restricting himself to his faithful recording of one thing after another. All those “ands” are crucial to this inferencing.

    Similarly, later in the chapter Frederic does not seem to register Hemingway’s implicit association between the effect of the rain and the effect of the troops: “. . . in the fall when the rains came the leaves all fell from the chestnut trees and the branches were bare and the trunks black with rain.”  By guiding his audience to see Frederic’s situation more clearly than Frederic does, Hemingway constructs Frederic as an unreliable interpreter of his own situation.

    Hemingway then uses the last two sentences of the chapter to nail down this discrepancy between his audience’s inferencing and Frederic comprehension: “At the start of the winter came the permanent rain and with the rain came the cholera. But it was checked, and in the end only seven thousand died of it in the army.” Who says, “only seven thousand died”? Who confines the casualties of the cholera to those in the Allied army? A committed ironist, a military official trying to minimize casualties, or a callow young American volunteer in the ambulance division who has not thought much about war. Frederic does not qualify as an ironist, given the earnestness of his recording, and he is no military official.

    In sum, underneath that stylistically brilliant first chapter, Hemingway invites his readers to infer how much innocence and naivete Frederic has to lose and how much he needs to learn about the war and the world.

    In contrast to the Nick Adams of “Indian Camp,” Frederic not only loses his innocence and naivete but recognizes the loss. Indeed, he learns a lot about the war and the world from Catherine Barkley, who once tells him that she’s afraid of the rain because she sees herself dead in in it. (The issue of how Hemingway’s ideas about gender influence his construction of Catherine’s character is a complex one that I won’t get into here, except for a few comments below.) After Frederic makes his farewell to military arms, he and Catherine establish their own happy but fragile existence in Switzerland. That happiness is permanently shattered when Catherine dies in childbirth, along with their baby. Burns and Novick use their commentators to emphasize how much Hemingway struggled with how to end the novel after Catherine’s death—the ms. shows forty-seven different attempts! The documentary, however, does not address why the ending Hemingway chose works so well, and, thus, misses an especially ripe occasion to make visible more of what lies beneath the surface of his deceptively simple prose.  

    Material: what should the final part be? A philosophical reflection along the lines of the famous “If people bring so much courage to this world, the world has to kill them to break them” passage? Indeed, why not use that exact passage? Or should the narrative end with a line of dialogue? Or a report of Frederic’s actions in the immediate aftermath of Catherine’s death? Or something else?

    Treatment: Once that choice is made, what’s the optimal way handle it? Should Frederic explicitly express his grief and sorrow about losing Catherine? Or should the emotion be suppressed? If suppressed, how to invite his readers to recognize it?

    Hemingway opts for the report of a final action and treats it by returning to the style of the opening chapter: “Troops went by the house and down the road and . . .” becomes “I went out and left the hospital and walked. . . .”

    Inferencing: The style is similar, but Frederic’s voices are radically different. The first chapter is in the voice of Frederic the naïve ambulance driver. The last sentence is in the voice of the enlightened man who feels Catherine’s absence and the destructiveness of the world in every fiber of his being but who is not himself destroyed by those feelings. This man now understands rain as a synecdoche for that destructiveness but who carries on despite its presence. As Hemingway matches voice to action, he invites his readers to recognize that, in taking these small steps back into the world, Frederic is not yet strong at the broken places but is deliberately (in both senses) advancing toward such a condition. The final sentence, then, though suffused with Frederic’s grief, also indicates the completion of his transformation from the unreliable character narrator of Chapter 1 to a character narrator wholly aligned with the perspective and values of his creator. From this perspective, Hemingway chose well among the forty-seven options he considered for the ending. We may cry, as Edna O’Brien did, in reading this novel, but we also come away moved by its aesthetic power.  

    After such responses, we may also want to raise questions or objections. Here are just a few. Does Hemingway, despite initially giving her a perspective aligned with his—and showing that she is one who is strong at the broken places—treat her as a disposable woman, important primarily for her service to both Frederic and his own artistic ends? Even as he transforms his experience with Agnes in his construction of the Catherine-Frederic relationship, does Catherine’s fate include a tinge (or more) of vengeance against Agnes? Does Hemingway overdo it with the emphasis on the world’s destruction and on his use of the rain? (Riddle: What’s Hemingway’s answer to “why did the chicken cross the road?” Answer: “To die. In the rain.”) But I would suggest that these questions become more intriguing when put into dialogue with the answers that emerge from a focus on Hemingway’s handling of material, treatment, and inferencing.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

    There’s a lot more to say about that handling in Hemingway’s other work, but I hope this much indicates how I’d go about saying it. I turn now to why I think the sculpted iceberg needs to include several holes.

    The sculpture needs the holes to signal that the relations between the life and the writing can never be fully explained, and it needs more than one to signal that there are multiple gaps in those relations. The first, and perhaps largest gap, is between formative experiences and ultimate achievement. When Burns and Novick look to the life for experiences that help explain Hemingway’s famous style, they highlight such things as his extended childhood engagements with the music of Bach; his experience as a journalist for the Kansas City Star who insisted that their writers should: “Use short sentences. Use short first paragraphs. Use vigorous English”; and his reading of Gertrude Stein with an eye toward her experiments with repetition and syntax. Influences, yes. Explanations, no. How many others played Bach, wrote short sentences and paragraphs, and read Stein, and how many of them became accomplished writers?

    A second gap is between specific experiences and the transformation of those experiences into powerful fiction. A Farewell to Arms is based on Hemingway’s experiences in World War I, including his relationship with Agnes. But A Farewell to Arms is far from a roman á clef, and the departures from Hemingway’s personal experience are crucial to the success of the narrative, especially the different trajectory of the relationship between himself and Agnes and the one between Frederic and Catherine.  Where do those departures come from? Not from other direct experiences, but rather Hemingway’s own imagination in combination with his sense of what the narrative needs. In other words, the transformation of experience into powerful fiction depends not just on the experiences themselves but also on the writer’s ability to see beyond the experiences to their significance. This transformation also depends on the writer’s sense, often intuitive but sometimes deliberately conscious, of how introducing something that departs from the experience can have ripple effects on the rest of the narrative. A third gap arises because writing is itself its own activity in which one learns by doing and in which what one learns has an existence apart from whatever else is happening in one’s life. How does one get to Stockholm for the Nobel Prize in Literature? Practice, practice, practice—and, to adapt what Michael Katakis says at the beginning of the documentary, be like “so many other people, except [have] enormous talent.”

    In a sense, Burns and Novick devote six hours of filmmaking to unpacking Katakis’s description of Hemingway as such a man and to looking for connections between his fundamental similarities to so many others and that enormous talent. If I’m right about what stands apart between the life and the writing, it is inevitable that Hemingway succeeds more with the similarities than with their connections to that talent. Inevitable and perfectly fine because the life is captivating. Nevertheless, it’s the writing that fuels the interest in the life, and just how Hemingway was able to produce it will, I suspect, never be fully explained. What we can do, however, is continue to increase our understanding of what lies beneath its surfaces.

  • When I Hear the Song “Mi Viejo” by Piero

    As soon as I read Elizabeth Acevedo’s The Poet X, I knew there was a brilliant poetic voice illuminating the future. Acevedo is a performance poet whose beautiful free verse crosses over for both adult and teen readers. The Poet X is a verse novel with so much rhythm that it could be performed as musical theater. The story is both sensitive and energetic, emotionally complex and accessible. The Poet X asks quiet questions, but it asks them with a beat. The story explores immigration, relationships, and coming of age. Many of the poems are bilingual, written in confident Spanglish. The protagonist grows, loses some Dominican traditions, and learns to value others. Above all, she gains her individuality and freedom of expression, granting the reader a sense of hope. Elizabeth Acevedo offers a voice that young readers need.

    Margarita Engle, author of The Surrender Tree: Poems of Cuba’s Struggle for Freedom and Poetry Foundation 2017–2019 Young People’s Poet Laureate


    today, miles and years from Papi’s record player,
    the night unrolls itself into blue linoleum,
    the guitar strings my extended hand in his direction.

    I killed him for almost half my childhood.
    We are taught many things by counting time, even this.

    If this was the only father I had to claim,
    I preferred him buried in memory.

    Now, his records drag like a long breath 
    between the pause of songs.

    He should have danced with me more often.

  • The Cry

    Beverly, a town near Salem, spring 1692. A STRONG GUST of WIND then lights up to see a young girl, ELIZABETH, pacing back and forth behind a meeting hall. Her apron has been intentionally placed on the ground to hide something. The sun hangs late in the day. ELIZABETH seems very aware and disturbed by this.

    ELIZABETH

    I bid them come? Did they not swear
    to gather behind the meeting hall. Soon
    Goody Williams will want her supper and
    when the fat pig squeals you must fill
    her gut. Pray, fill it until she burst!
        (looks off)
    I will surely be whipped if I am not
    back soon for the pig is truly a beast.

     

    Another young girl, ANNIE, enters dressed in similar attire. She carries a wooden bucket and wears her apron.

    ANNIE

    I prayed you’d still be here!

    ELIZABETH

    You are good at prayers for I am
    still here AND waiting! Where have
    you been?

     

    ANNIE

    I could not so easily steal away.
        (raising bucket)
    Look you, I had to pretend to fetch
    water to escape the claws of Goody
    Henry. And with the whole town talkin’
    witchcraft in yonder Salem…

     

    ELIZABETH

    What happened in Salem will be
    silenced after what happens here.
    Especially after we drink blood
    and conjure spirits.

     

    ANNIE

    I will do no such thing.

     

    2.

    ELIZABETH

    Do you strike out against me?

    ANNIE

    Conjuring spirits will surely
    get us hung. It is a sin! You
    remember how Reverend Hale was
    bent on hanging Goody Walker but
    she died of fever first.
     

    ELIZABETH

    He will have more than one witch
    to catch if you and Catherine drink
    with me.
     

    ANNIE turns away.

    ELIZABETH

    Annie, you swore to do this deed.
    We each swore on our mother’s grave.
     

    ANNIE

    It was all talk! All talk, I say.
    We are no conjurers of spirits. And
    neither are those girls in Salem.

     

    ELIZABETH

    You take their story for sport?

    ANNIE

    Most certainly! And I do not understand
    why our town has fallen under the spell
    of a silly story.
        (beat)
    Girls can not fly. And you are mad to
    believe so!
     

    ELIZABETH

    You say I am mad, Annie Smith? Well,
    let it be so.
        (wicked grin)
    I killed a chicken. I slit it’s
    throat then drained the blood into
    a cup.
     

      3.

    ANNIE

    Pray, why do such a thing?

    ELIZABETH

    To conjure spirits the same way Abby
    and the other girls did in Salem. They
    drank blood, they danced… They conjured
    up the devil and t’was he who gave them
    wings to fly and a voice to cast out those
    who walk with the devil.
       

    ANNIE

    Shut it, Elizabeth. You talk nonsense!

    ELIZABETH grabs ANNIE by her arm and holds her tightly.

    ELIZABETH

    Now look you! We shall drink blood,
    conjure spirits, and fly.
     

    ANNIE

    Let go of me. Goody Henry will
    think I have gone off to Salem
    and back to fetch water. And I
    must tend to her supper or else
    she bid Mr. Henry to…
     

    ELIZABETH releases ANNIE’s arm.

    ELIZABETH

    Aye…they all want their supper!
    And we are the stray dogs who must
    fetch it for we have no parents of
    our own. We fetch when they command
    and beg for their kindness so they
    don’t beat us… Well, I tell you
    I will fetch and beg no more for my
    Goody Williams. Hear me, when Catherine
    comes with the poppets we will carry
    out the plan.

     

    ANNIE

    Your plan, Elizabeth? Catherine and I
    only agreed so you would shut it.
     

      4.

     

    ELIZABETH

    Ye are afraid. Admit it!

     

    ANNIE

    I am not! But people in Beverly
    are. Witchcraft is but a breeze
    away. The village is out, don’t
    you see?

     

    ELIZABETH

    I only see a frightened girl.
    But after you drink blood and
    conjure spirits, you need not
    be afraid.

       

    ANNIE

    Listen to yourself! Did you not hear
    what happened in yonder Salem? People
    died. They were hung because Abby and
    and her jolly band cried out witch!
    WITCH! WITCH!!!

     

    ELIZABETH quickly covers ANNIE’s mouth.

     

    ELIZABETH

    Hush, someone will hear you!

     

    ANNIE removes ELIZABETH’s hand

     

    ANNIE

    So who’s afraid now? They will
    hang you, us, if we proceed with
    this course of action.

     

    ELIZABETH

    I SHALL NOT FAIL!

     

    ELIZABETH quickly moves aside the apron on the ground to reveal a bloody knife and a cup. She picks up the knife and cup.

     

    ELIZABETH

    I slit a chicken’s throat. I
    could easily slit another
    chicken’s throat.

    5.

     

    ANNIE

    Look at you! You need not drink
    blood. You are already one with
    the devil!

     

    ELIZABETH

    Maybe so. But you shall drink. You
    and Catherine shall both drink.

         

    ANNIE

    If I am not back with this water
    Goody Henry will send Mr. Thomas
    Henry out with a thick strap. And
    when he finds me he will whip me for
    he gets great pleasure in doing so.

     

    ELIZABETH

    Because Goody Henry gives him none.

     

    ANNIE

    You are wicked one, Elizabeth.
    I stand not with you! Now get
    out of my way!

     

    ELIZABETH

    Drink this blood and Thomas Henry
    will never beat you again. You will
    be free. Free and powerful. Just
    like Abby.

     

    ANNIE

    I hear tell Abby played God. She
    and the others decided who got
    to live and who got sent to the
    gallows.

     

    ELIZABETH

    They have folks to do the hanging. We
    just have to cry out which ones get
    the noose. Our hands will be clean.

     

    ANNIE

    But not our minds, our souls. We
    will rot in hell. Now I must go!

      6.

         

    ELIZABETH thrust the bloody knife towards ANNIE’s neck then pushes the cup up to her lips.

     

    ELIZABETH

    You must drink!

     

    ANNIE

    I SHALL NOT!

         

    ELIZABETH

    DRINK!

     

    CATHERINE, another young girl, sallies in holding three poppets.

     

    CATHERINE

    I pray, what is the matter here!

     

    ANNIE

    She’s…she’s gone mad I tell
    you. She has killed a chicken
    and put it’s blood in a cup that
    she now presses to my lips.

     

    CATHERINE

    Does she speak the truth? Does
    the cup overflow with chicken’s
    blood? Or might it be some mixture
    of tomatoes and beets.

     

    ELIZABETH

    You do not believe me?

     

    ELIZABETH lowers the knife and the cup. ANNIE seizes the moment to escape into CATHERINE’s arms.

     

    CATHERINE

    You’ve frightened her. You are
    such a silly child, Elizabeth.

     

    ANNIE

    I tried to tell her I wanted no
    part of this.

     

     

    7.

     

    ELIZABETH

    And you, Catherine? Where do you
    stand.

     

    CATHERINE

    Behind a smelly barn now used as
    a meeting hall. And frankly, I do
    not intend to be here much longer.
    I came only to deliver your poppets
    and fetch Annie. Pray, Goody Henry
    is all a howl for you.

       

    ANNIE

    You see! YOU SEE! Now I am done
    for.

     

    CATHERINE

    I did buy you some time. I offered to
    find you before Sir Thomas Henry’s
    belt found your backside.
        (giggles)
    Come along, Annie.

     

    CATHERINE hands the poppets to ELIZABETH and curtsies.

     

    ELIZABETH

        (irate)
    I should kill the both of you!

     

    CATHERINE

    Oh posh! You won’t kill us because
    you need us.

     

    ELIZABETH

    That’s what you think.

     

    CATHERINE

    D’y’ hear that in Salem Abby’s strength
    t’were in numbers. Abbey, Betty, Ruth,
    Mary… Why you can’t conjure and fly
    alone. One person dancing in the forest
    moves no trees. But hundreds shake the
    earth. The trees have no choice. They
    must bend and sway when hundreds dance.

      8.

     

    CATHERINE (CONTD)

    Reverend Hale, this very morning on
    the church steps, said that by herself
    Abby is just a scared, little lamb.
        (proudly)
    But now the lamb is a wolf.

     

    ELIZABETH

    You are truly wise, Catherine.

     

    CATHERINE

    Sensible. Mother and father always
    said I had good sense. Though they
    are with God now, I have maintained
    that quality they hath placed upon
    me.

     

    ELIZABETH

    I am neither sensible nor wise.

     

    CATHERINE

    You let your emotions lead you.
    And that can be very dangerous.

     

    ELIZABETH

    Aye…you are right. So dangerous.

     

    In a flash, ELIZABETH drops her knife, grabs CATHERINE by the hair and quickly pours the chicken’s blood into her mouth. CATHERINE falls to her knees gagging while trying to spit out the blood.

     

    ANNIE, alarmed, rushes to CATHERINE’s side.

     

    ANNIE

    I pray it be tomatoes or beets!

     

    CATHERINE

    God, oh GOD! It is blood. You have
    given me devil’s milk. Am I to die?

     

    ELIZABETH

    You will live, unfortunately.

     

    9.

     

    ANNIE

    But surely she will grow ill! I
    must fetch the doctor.

     

    ELIZABETH

    Let Catherine give us a word first.

     

    CATHERINE

    DAMN YOU! YOU ARE A SERPENT IN
    DISGUISE!

     

    Elated, ELIZABETH kneels down next to CATHERINE.

     

    ELIZABETH
    The devil takes you! Do you not
    feel him?
        (shakes Catherine)
    Let him in! LET HIM IN! LET HIM…

     

    CATHERINE

    OH, GOD! OH, GOD! I FEEL HIM!

     

    ELIZABETH

    GOOD, I WILL FEEL HIM TOO!

     

    ELIZABETH drinks from the cup. The WIND begins to blow.

     

    ELIZABETH

    Annie do not strike out against
      the devil. Drink with us!

     

    ANNIE

    I… I can not.

     

    CATHERINE

    I dare not face the devil without
    all of you. He is too powerful!

     

    ELIZABETH

    Aye… we must face him together
    like we swore to! Drink his blood 
    Annie, or Catherine and I will be
    blinded by the storm of crows he
    sets upon us. (looks) See, they come!

    10.

     

    The sound of CAWING CROWS joins in with the sound of the blowing wind. Afraid, ANNIE kneels with the others. She takes the cup and drinks. She violently coughs and rolls to the ground.

     

    ELIZABETH

    Look! Look, Catherine. The devil
    takes her quick. The dark one now
    calls upon us to do his bidding.
    T’will be many hangings in Beverly
    come sunrise.

     

    ANNIE’s body jerks, convulses. The WIND HOWLS LOUDER.

     

      CATHERINE

    My Goody Johnson will hang! 

     

    ELIZABETH

    My Goody Williams will hang! Reverend
    Hale will hang!

     

    ANNIE rises to her feet and starts to flap her arms.

     

    ANNIE

    I’M ABOUT TO FLY! I MUST FLY!

     

    ELIZABETH and CATHERINE also stand and begin to flap their arms.

     

      CATHERINE

    I’M GOING TO FLY, TOO!

     

    ELIZABETH

    WE MUST FLY OVER THE TOWN CRYING
    OUT NAMES OF THOSE WHO DANCE WITH
    THE DEVIL!

     

    They continue to flap their arms while crying out – Goody Johnson must hang, Goody Williams must hang.

    ALL

    Goody Williams, Goody Johnson, Goody Henry…THEY MUST HANG! THEY MUST HANG!  HANG…

    BLACKOUT.

  • Three Poems – Youssef Rakha

    Winter

    Woman wants forever
    And man wants heaven
    And sometimes not oftentimes
    The two wants collide
    And both become a cloud
    Less often still but sometimes
    They die, actually die
    Before it can rain
    And the world stays dry
    And everything remains
    Just fine

     

    Rome, February 2015

    Then a white bird comes. A big white bird. And it is close, closing like it is going to land on your head. After the rain has stopped. Wings level with your shoulders. On the rooftop before you’re due to leave. Exactly like it’s on your head. And you in the dark with no umbrella over you. The size of your suitcase. On the roof the night you’re due to go. Before getting lost at the station. The water running to your feet. And the sun lost in the light. And beneath a Roman column. The alleys that curl. And the wind which irons the umbrella. And the umbrella yawning. Life at both sides of the road. And life is always a life. And rain until departure. And the umbrella lifting in the wind. And the sound of the suitcase’s wheels. Gravel then tiles. And the dream of faces in the glass. The taste of thyme in the potatoes. A building the colour of a peach. Mounds of melon beneath shavings of mortadella. And the shavings which curl. And the blacks selling umbrellas. And on the thresholds of the restaurants. Speech a song sung over and over. And a white bird saying farewell. And the umbrellas at the entrances to the restaurants. And the wind at the entrances to the restaurants. And life at the entrances to the restaurants. The size of your suitcase. And life always a life. 

     

    Shipping traffic

    The grey ships come from the north,
    The snow-white ships come from the pole,
    The ships of the south are all broken down.
    O harbourmaster sitting on the cloudbanks,
    O harbourmaster walking on the water,
    Tell those leaping on the equator line
    How their flesh might turn to wood,
    How their bones might turn to steel,
    Until from out their bodies comes a ship,
    Its black pushing through the swell. 

     

    Translated from the Arabic by Robin Moger.

  • Underneath

    Underneath

    For Dana Bradley, survivor of the Oklahoma City bombing

    On the day the bricks threatened to stop breathing,
    I was unearthed, cracked and spilling, my legs
    stretched sparkless. Skin and dust stiffened my
    wailing halo of hair, my gut whimpered through
    rips and brown-soaked cotton. For days I nibbled
    on pockets of air, sipped spit conjured from memory,
    willed my waning pulse away from the pit and its
    rampaging prickle of light. I was everyone’s thin
    thread, the wheeze they almost didn’t hear. You
    saw the picture? My howl of red-rimmed staring?
    My eyes gone dead at the instance of boom?
    I was speedy celebrity blown wide and blue.
    You saw the second after the calvary of weeping
    white boys sawed my legs away, the second after
    they fed my legs and feet to the earth’s open scar
    and arced over my half-body to shield me from
    the cackling sun and clicking shutters. So.
    I was your whole morning this morning. Another
    woman torn in half. Noble men guarding her ruin.
  • The Editor Interviews Artist, Karen Green

    The Editor Interviews Artist, Karen Green

    Art by Karen Green
    Art by Karen Green

    I have been the grateful beneficiary of Karen Green’s generosity and the artwork she has made available to me to share with readers in each of the issues of the KBBBAR Lit Journal this year. Her vibrant, colorful, and uniquely enchanting work has not only enlivened the fiction and the poetry in which it appeared, but also, as in “Mr. Brother,” by Michael Cunningham, the original depiction she painted of the two characters brought them and their situation to life in a dramatic and new way for readers. I am moved to share Karen–the artist, the woman, and the writer with you,–and provide information about where you can view her work in the bio below, to learn more about her project of uniting the visual and the literary, and understand the inspiring ways she sees and comments on her world. Thank you to Karen for adding so much to the magazine and its fiction and poetry throughout the year.

    Zumhagen. Karen, you are so prolific, and your work often has a playful, childlike quality. I wonder if you painted as a child and if you were always interested in art?

    Green: Most of my earliest memories involve either a toddler’s ecstatic visual discovery (the sparkling asphalt of a city sidewalk underfoot, an ice cream ordered to match one’s sweater), or art as a method of transporting oneself elsewhere: If my brothers were watching dreadful Sci-fi television, I could sit in the corner with my crayons and join the circus by drawing it. That’s a benign example, but the powers of escape and transformation were there. So yes, looking and making have always been inseparable from my daily life, whether I thought of it as art or not. I was always interested.

    Zumhagen: You have such an interesting way of seeing and representing the world and certain locations. Where did you grow up, and how did you come to use detritus and unusual objects to paint on?

    Green: Thanks, Pat. I grew up in just outside of San Francisco in what was then the affluent hippie suburbs, before it was cool to flaunt your wealth, which was good for me because I was the child of a jazz musician who was neither affluent nor bohemian. My childhood was chaotic in the typical ways a childhood is when there is scarcity and substance abuse involved, but I was surrounded by riches. Not just white suburban wealth, but the riches of the natural world: redwood forests, rolling oak-dotted hills, brick red Golden Gate Bridge against the Pacific Ocean, plus excellent espresso. You get the picture. So I was weirdly, visually spoiled and spent a lot of time wandering outdoors, a snobby forager in training. I remember a particularly bad Easter Sunday, I was maybe nine years old, some relative throwing plates in the kitchen I think, and I ran down the street to the classic pharmacy (glass countertops, lady with lavender bouffant behind them), closed for the holiday. There was a big dumpster in the back parking lot and I climbed into it in my little smocked dress to pull out a bunch of discarded “tester” perfume bottles. Not only did they have a little rich lady scent left in them, but the labels and fanciful shapes excited me. There was a brown one in the shape of a heart I held onto way into adulthood. I guess I was a guttersnipe and dumpster diver from very early on and still am.

    Zumhagen: I love your clear memories of seeing the beauty in the natural world or even just the art worthiness in the light on the street or the playfulness of the escape, for example. I also love the juxtaposition of this first story of yourself with your guttersnipe and dumpster diver identification. It presents an interesting dichotomy that prompts interest in how the dichotomy translates into your art. So, how would you define your art and what would you say drew you to your method or way of expressing yourself . . . the kind of art you do?

    Green: Whenever I’m asked what kind of art I do/make, I always struggle to give a decent answer. It’s very hybrid, it’s all over the place, it’s collage. I don’t want to sound self-disparaging; I don’t disparage it. It is, however, still “play” for me– serious, prioritized play. My worst recurring dreams is one where someone takes away either my paintings or my tools. As you know, three years ago my house was destroyed by fire and losing all my art and the precious junk I had collected over the years was by far the worst part of the process. I had nothing to work with. I did make some drawings from the charcoal of my burned front door. What compels me is always the thing in front of me, whether it’s physical or emotional loss, the forest, or rusted sardine cans dumped in the desert.

    Zumhagen: How terrible that you lost all your art and your tools . . . though the mark of your true artistry is that you used the charcoal from your burned door to create. I love the idea that looking and making of art have always been inseparable from your daily life. I wonder with this in mind, how your art has changed with the times and over time– especially as your art seems often to serve as a commentary on the thing that is in front of you . . . or to provoke response?

    Green: I think because of the way I work, it’s always changing, dependent upon the “tools” life is offering up. For example, the recent plague sent me into the forest and the desert, the forest floor offered up the supernatural realm of mushrooms, the mushrooms ended up in the work and also on pizzas. The desert offered up endless pink skies but also shocking dumping grounds of all manner of human detritus, not the least of which are the ghosts of disappeared women (It’s sobering how many Jane Does are found in the desert). So right now, I’m thinking a lot about extinction, human and otherwise. I’m thinking it may be necessary for certain types of humans to go extinct.

    Zumhagen: Your mention of the desert being a dumping ground for disappeared women, and the Jane Doe reference brings me to the political aspect of your art. In addition to calling attention to a throw-away society by painting on discarded sardine cans etc., your amazing book, Frail Sister, that Ryan Chapman calls “a searing portrait of one woman’s destruction by men and their institutions in 20th century America,” surely also takes on the politics of feminism. He goes on to say “It’s also an ambitious collage attempting to place the reader within an imagined consciousness—typically the provenance of prose literature.” Can you speak to this?

    Green: Well, first let me say that “Believer” review was probably the best one I’ll ever get, so thank you Ryan Chapman, forever. Frail Sister started out as research into my aunt who had disappeared before I was born. The more I looked for her, the more ghosts I uncovered, in my family and otherwise. I suppose the personal became political pretty quickly, although Trump was yet to be elected, “Me Too” was not yet a backlash or a movement; I didn’t really see the book as political when I was concocting it, nor did I think the powers that be would pay much attention to a difficult-to-decipher murder mystery/thinly disguised commentary on sexual trauma. Actually, by the time of publication, not so many people DID pay attention to the book, what with the world at large tweeting so hard and loud, but the timing was interesting, and my readers were surprising and wonderful, if not plentiful. I guess I think all art is political, as it is confessional. Whether the artist is actively ignoring the political landscape or completely inventing characters, the subject matter we are interested in or NOT interested in says a lot about what matters to us politically. Could a vote for Trump really be a vote only about the economy? A Trump vote was always a vote for racism and misogyny. So yeah, Frail Sister was a vote for the sisterhood and a big vote against pervy relatives and toxic dudes.

    Zumhagen: Do you have a history before Frail Sister of combining art and storytelling or was this your first attempt?

    Green? Yes, I do, and trying to marry the two seamlessly is a continued source of joy and frustration. Quite a few years back I published an alphabet “flip” book (now out of print) which told the story of falling in and out of love as you turned it over. My book Bough Down was published by Siglio Press (who also published Frail Sister and whose specialty is the intersection of art and literature) in 2013, and was comprised of prose chunks and miniature collages. With Frail Sister I tried to take it a step further by having the text hand-typed and entirely embedded in the visuals, which was a bitch when it came to copy editing.    

    Zumhagen: Chapman also remarks that “If we step back from the narrative, the scope of Green’s achievement comes into view. She’s managed to integrate a nuanced literary voice, a rigorous visual aesthetic, and an entire life story into a masterwork. That is Frail Sister. It isn’t a story. It’s a memorial.” This is a great tribute. Did you formally study art or writing? Have you always been interested in writing?

    Green: Entirely “self-taught” on both counts, but I think that’s a misnomer. Books are very good teachers. Poverty is a teacher. Fear can teach a person the powers of observation, and the power of observation is crucial to both visual art and writing. The best part about being old/invisible is the space in which to hone the powers of observation. 

    Zumhagen: Karen. Thank you so much for thinking on these questions and providing us with a deeper and broader understanding of your work and your inspiration. I loved getting a bit of history and thinking about your future, and where you are going next, etc. It leads me to ask the question that involves your legacy. As an artist what do you hope to be remembered for?

    Green: Subversion, maybe? Generosity? Bringing down the patriarchy? Communicating something essential? Giving solace? Making someone laugh and cry simultaneously? That’s a difficult question, probably because when I think about it I realize how bad at archiving myself I am. Recently it came to my attention that my Wikipedia page was completely erroneous– wrong information, wrong photograph of a wrong person. I’m not sure I want to change it because I think it’s wonderful, but that is not to say I don’t want to make work that is alive at the time of making, that keeps living, that is memorable to somebody.

  • Three Poems – Sergei Yesenin

    A Song About Bread

    Here it is, the harsh brutality,

    The full meaning of human suffering!

    The sickle cuts the heavy ears of wheat

    The way they slit throats of swans.

     

    Since time immemorial, our field

    Has known the morning shudder of August.

    Straw is tied up in bundles,

    Each bundle lies there like a yellow corpse.

     

    Carts, like hearses, carry them

    Into the crypt: a barn.

    Like a deacon, the driver,

    Barking at the mare, heeds the funeral rites.

     

    After that, with care, without anger,

    Their heads are laid on the ground

    And little bones are pummeled

    Out of their thin bodies with chains.

     

    No one ever thinks

    That straw is also flesh.

    The bones are shoved in the mouth of the cannibal mill

    That grinds them with its teeth.

     

    And then, fermenting the dough,

    They bake piles of tasty viands…

    That’s when the whitish venom enters the jug

    Of the stomach to lay eggs of spite.

     

    Condensing all the beatings into a loaf,

    Distilling the reapers’ cruelty into redolent brew,

    It poisons the millstones of intestines

    Of those who eat this straw meat.

     

    And the charlatan, the murderer, and the villain

    Whistle like autumn across the entire country…

    All because the sickle cuts ears of wheat

    The way they slit throats of swans.

     <1921>

     

    * * *

    I don’t regret, I don’t call, I don’t cry.

    All will pass like smoke from white apple trees.

    Overcome with the gold of wilting,

    I won’t be young anymore.

     

    Touched with cold, you will no longer

    Beat in the same way, heart,

    And the land of birch chintz

    Won’t tempt me to gallivant barefoot.

     

    Nomadic spirit! Less and less

    You stoke the flame of my lips.

    O my lost freshness,

    Mayhem of eyes and deluge of feelings!

     

    These days I’m stingier in my desires,

    My life—or did I dream you?

    I might as well have galloped on a pink steed

    On a sonorous early spring morning.

     

    All of us, all of us will perish;

    Quietly, copper leaves pour from maples…

    Therefore, blessed be, forever,

    Everything that’s come to bloom and to die.

    <1921>

     

    Letter to My Mother

    Are you still alive, my dear old lady?

    I’m alive as well. Hello, hello!

    Let that ineffable evening light

    Keep streaming over your hut.

     

    They write to me that, barely hiding your fear,

    You’ve gotten awfully sad over me,

    That you often wander the road

    In your tattered old-fashioned coat.

     

    In the blue dark of evening,

    You often see the same thing:

    In a bar fight, someone has stabbed me

    In the heart with a Finnish knife.

     

    It’s nothing, my dear! Please calm down.

    Just a terrible hallucination.

    I’m not so hopeless a drunkard

    As to die without seeing you.

     

    I’m as gentle as I was before,

    And I only dream of one thing:

    To come back from my rebellious anguish

    To our squat house.

     

    I will come back when our garden,

    White with spring, outstretches its branches.

    But this time, don’t wake me up at dawn

    The way you used to do eight years ago.

     

    Don’t wake up the old expectations;

    Don’t disturb all that didn’t come true—

    I’ve endured loss and exhaustion

    Far too early in life.

     

    And don’t teach me to pray. Please don’t!

    There is no going back to the old.

    Only you are my help and my joy.

    Only you are my ineffable light.

     

    So forget your anxiety,

    Don’t get so awfully sad over me.

    Don’t wander the road so often

    In your tattered old-fashioned coat.

     <1924>

  • Unraveling

    I am dreaming that clothes are coming apart. There is a sudden need for needles and thread. There are buttons on the floor like seashells. We try to make the outdoors in our living rooms. I have a measuring tape around my neck. I have a single pin between my teeth. The outside comes in. I brace myself like for a wave.

    everything comes to me in pieces
    I put it together
                (the clamoring of the sewing machine)          
                (squinting at the thread to make sure it goes straight into the needle)
                (the vintage fabrics smelling of strange closets)
                (the comfort of the fabric rubbed against my cheek)
                (the metallic flavor of pins)
    everything comes to me in pieces
     
    from the outside
    that has been closed to us
    come velvet
                silk
                cotton

    I stick my head out the window, wearing fancy dresses

    dressed for myself

    in this isolation we live for ourselves

    we have long conversations with mirrors

    the past is almost erased

    We forget what it was like to go out. The sun shines more often when I am home. It does so to tempt me. We establish a dialogue, the sun and I. I put out my bare arms.

    I ask for the sun to warm me, for a careful caress. I learn to be touched by something so far away. I learn what distance really is.

    My friends have also fallen into the landscape of their apartments. We whisper to each other. We stick our ears out the window and attempt to hear a voice.

     

  • The Flight

    -Albania, 1971-

                The prisoner would remain nameless as far as Besim was concerned. He had first learned his name months ago when he had arrived at the prison. Besim prided himself on knowing the first and last names of each one of the prisoners. He’d try to be generous—to the best of his ability and to the best of their circumstances, but he learned quickly that most of the prisoners had no interest in exchanging niceties with him and that most spit at the officers as soon as their backs were turned. Still, despite subtle displays of protest, they obeyed the rules, too weak and too tired to try their hand at debauchery.

                The prisoner coughed violently. Why, thought Besim to himself, why gamble with your life you simple-minded fool? His fist went numb and then stung as it made contact with the prisoner’s cheekbone. It was dim and cold in the room and the nameless one’s pain echoed off the walls as he grunted and moaned in response. He worked hard to breathe and Besim wondered if he had broken his nose.

                “Get up,” he muttered, as he shook his fist to make the pain go away. The prisoner’s head hung limply to the left and he could’ve passed for dead had it not been for the labored breathing.

                “Get up,” Besim repeated calmly.

                “Do you know why you are here?” Besim asked between breaths as he tried to pull him up and straighten him against the wall. The prisoner didn’t flinch at the sound of his voice. “You were sent to the camp because you cannot be trusted. You were then brought here because you proved us right.”

    *

                Edi stopped running and bent over to catch his breath. His adrenaline was draining with the sunlight and in the silence of the forest; reality was beginning to envelop him. His mistakes rose to the surface of his consciousness and his body trembled in the cool evening air.

                I should have waited until after roll call, he thought to himself. I should have waited for darkness to run. The forest was thicker than he had anticipated and he was, at first, grateful he had not taken off into the night. But now he realized his grave mistake in not waiting for the dark, after each person in the camp had been called out and accounted for. He hadn’t been on the run for more than twenty minutes before he heard shouting in the distance, knowing instantly that the woods had been infiltrated with soldiers looking for him.

                Beyond escaping the confines of camp, Edi didn’t have much of a plan and found himself hopelessly lost with the onset of night. There was still a childlike and primitive fear of the dark that he secretly harbored; the old trees blocked out the late sun, and their tangled trunks and abandoned foliage below created a mausoleum-like effect and Edi only hoped he wouldn’t die in the vast wilderness, alone and remembered only as an afterthought, a cautionary tale. He tried to shake off thoughts of his mortality, certain he had left the worst behind him. But the evening’s cacophonous sounds echoed; the sound of snapping twigs and leaves scattering and a slight wind picking up. Edi looked around briefly before setting his aim on one direction and moving towards it.

                He thought about his only companionship at the camp, a priest he had befriended upon his arrival, and found himself wishing more than ever that he wasn’t alone. The priest was different from all the others. Educated and socially aware, he nourished a part of Edi’s mind that Edi didn’t realize had been starving. Their discussions at first were the usual: “Where are you from? Who is your father? Where is he from?” Eventually they began to carry on deeper discussions in broken whispers late into the night. In this country’s new era, religion had become the forbidden fruit—one bite of it and you were destined to a life of destitution, of punishment and deprivation. And while their conversations in daylight veered back and forth between family history and stories of their lives before the camp, after hours there were questions about the afterlife and salvation. Eventually, even those discussions would shift to ghost stories and old family folklore.

                At night when the last family name had been called and accounted for and everyone retired to their homes, Edi would make his way back to the priest and knock twice lightly on the door; twice—never three times. Three knocks foreshadowed an impending death. Quietly the door would open, the priest would smile and stand to the side for Edi to walk in.

                “Did I ever tell you about…” were the priest’s first words and suddenly the night would begin. Edi wasn’t the most enlightened man but he believed his presence had become just as integral to the priest’s life as the priest had become to his.

    *

                Edi held his side as he walked in the darkness, the cramp deepening with every breath he took. The forest seemed to grow louder the later it got and Edi wondered how many different animals thrived as nocturnal beings. He tried to recall what made him decide to leave the semblance of security he had accidentally stumbled upon, but nothing seemed to justify his current state of hopelessness. The last discussion he and the priest shared was the first time Edi dominated the conversation, talking about his fears and his insecurities and what he worried would happen to them both if they stayed at the camp. Somehow, through his incessant ramblings, Edi decided he would escape to run through the woods and over the mountains to Serbia and seek asylum. He urged the priest to join him, referring to the trip as an adventure.

                “Have you read anything by Jack London?” He asked the priest. “Have you ever wished you lived in the pages of a story that was so powerful, so exciting, that your life feels like nothing in comparison? As if you’re just waiting for the real part of this existence to begin?”

                The priest studied Edi’s face in the dim light. Edi was a good but simple man. He listened to the priest’s stories like a child weighing every one of his mother’s words. He knew Edi respected him as an older man and as a religious man; this was the first time the priest found Edi sounding provocative. He worried for where Edi’s mind was going, and yet he couldn’t smother the small flame of admiration that he felt deep in his chest.

                “You have a surefire chance of being killed on this run,” he responded. “Stay here and remain with the rest of us. We don’t have it as bad as the others, you know this well. It could be alright.” The priest vowed he’d never forget the look of disappointment on Edi’s face, replaced just as quickly with a look of utter determination.

                “I wasn’t born to be treated like cattle. Neither were you. Neither is anyone else here. I’m leaving whether or not you come with me, but a man can always use a friend on the road.”

                The discussion died down soon after and the priest regaled him once again with stories of the times before the quick rise of communism. He talked and talked until Edi was no longer laughing or responding in return and he realized Edi had fallen asleep, and the priest hoped by morning Edi would wake with a clear mind and a laugh, telling him how he was just overly excited the night before and was kidding around with his talk of running.

    *

                “Tell me one thing,” Besim said after taking a long drag on his cigarette. He sat in a chair across the room from the prisoner, who was still slouched on the floor. He was conscious now, however, and he stared back at Besim from where he sat.

                “Tell me one thing,” Besim repeated. “Where did you think you’d end up? What did you think would happen?”

                The prisoner coughed once in response. One, two, three knocks against the concrete wall; he scraped his knuckles on the rough surface before smirking at the officer and found Besim smirking back.

                “You smug son-of-a-bitch. Did you think you’d make it out of the woods alive? And if you did, did you think the Serbs would welcome you with open arms?”

                “Leaving the lion’s den to walk into the wolves’ den,” responded Edi. “Wolves can at least be tamed.” Besim only stared at him.

                They sat on opposite sides of the room studying each other as if they were underwater and the sounds of the outside world were everything on the surface. There was a kind of freedom in Edi’s situation and he realized he was untouchable. He knew they were both killing time until he would be led outside to be lined up against the wall. Perhaps this was the ultimate freedom a person could obtain. The adventure he had so passionately talked to the priest about could be this, and this life was merely a preparation for what lay beyond.

                When he was being carried across the camp after being caught, Edi refused to make eye contact with the priest. He saw him in the distance, amongst the small crowd that had gathered quietly but turned his head and looked straight in front of him as they passed through the crowd. He didn’t want to the priest to see defeat on his face or the sense of regret he harbored. Edi’s final thought before they carried him indoors and shut the door behind him was: well, isn’t this a bitch? And he spit blood on the ground.

    *

                Luckily the night sky was clear enough for the moon to shed some light for guidance. Edi felt like an intruder in the wilderness each time his feet disrupted the quiet. He was too large, too loud, and too clumsy to permanently exist there. The deeper into the forest he thought he was going, the deeper he dug into his mind to dust off conversations he’d had with the priest. If he focused enough of his energy on those inner dialogues, he could almost pretend the priest was with him.

                Somewhere in the distance he heard a twig snap. And then another twig. And then another. He stopped and caught his breath, waiting to hear more. In the few moments of silence that followed, Edi quickly tiptoed behind a tree and crouched slowly until he squatted with his head resting on his knees.

                Fuck, they found me, he thought to himself. Fuck. Fuck. They can’t take me. And he began to think about God. He wanted to believe that his close relationship with the priest would grant him protection. He kept his head on his knees and closed his eyes, praying for invisibility.

                Suddenly Edi sat up straight and listened closely. It wasn’t a twig snapping or the sound of footsteps. He listened closely and wondered exactly how dehydrated he had become in the last several hours. Just before he resigned himself to absolute madness and sleep deprivation, he heard it again, clearer and closer. It was his name. Someone said his name. From somewhere in the distance, a voice was calling out to him. Not the priest. Not the officers. It was a voice he knew; the soft, crackly voice—like glass cracking under pressure—of his grandmother who had long since passed. He felt a lump in his throat as he battled with himself; the desire to reach out to her and respond—fighting with the knowledge that he must keep quiet, followed by the realization that he was, in fact, facing his own mortality.

                The corners of his eyes filled with tears as he remembered the endless talk of ghosts and folklore with the priest.

                “Have I ever told you about a neighbor of my mother’s,” began the priest, “who swore she had heard names being shouted one night as she walked home from visiting her sister? She didn’t think anything of it until she realized the names being called were those of the dead.”

                Edi felt his body break out in goosebumps the first time he heard it and again now as he sat bewildered behind the tree. He knew enough not to respond; his grandmother had told him the same lore as a child. A superstitious warning meant to scare children into silence before bedtime, you never respond to your name being called by someone who was deceased.

                The third and final time he heard his name, it caught in the wind and disappeared around him. He didn’t know how long he remained behind that tree, frozen in terror, but when he finally moved, he ran. He hardly noticed the sky beginning to lighten or the tremendous noise he made running through the brush and tripping over roots. Nothing seemed like fantasy anymore, like the folktales he and the priest relished sharing with each other.

                He stopped to briefly catch his breath and squeezed his eyes shut to keep out the possible sight of anything he shouldn’t be seeing. The memory of all those stories and superstitions crept into his mind and when he opened his eyes, Edi thought he saw a movement off to one side of him. He wanted to yell out his grandmother’s name but was scared he might actually be experiencing the impossible. He had always believed in listening to your body and his heart was now fluttering in his chest.

                Why is she doing this to me, he thought as he stood in the middle of a clearing. He heard another twig snap somewhere behind him before closing his eyes and putting his hands up to his ears. In his mind, Edi saw his grandmother as she used to be, long gray hair pinned up into a tight bun. He had always been close to her and wondered if coming face-to-face with his grandmother would be the worst fate to encounter. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get rid of the floating dots hovering there. In the distance, in the forest’s darkness he saw a figure moving slowly towards him. Edi choked back tears as he walked towards it, arms back down at his sides.

                “Grandmother…” his voice shook.

                “Over here! I got him! I got him!” Edi recognized the man’s voice from the camp.

                “Please. No,” was all he could mutter while taking a few steps back before he was grabbed and pushed from the side, and he went flying.

    *

                He could feel the sunlight even though he saw only darkness. Prior to the walk to the wall, he was blindfolded and led outside. His shoes, worn and thin, created a poor barrier between his feet and the ground. He pressed his toes into the pebbles and ground them around until he created a little crater. He found a strange sense of comfort in the gravelly texture and in the sound the dirt and stones made rubbing against each other. The sound of pebbles skipping and feet being quickly shuffled let him know he was not alone.

                Edi felt a hand press his shoulder roughly, until his tied hands scraped against the wall behind him. He brushed his fingertips lightly against the rough surface and felt the warmth of the sunlight soaked up by the concrete. He pressed his palms against the wall as if gaining energy from the heat, as if he could melt into the structure and hide away there forever. Edi heard words but didn’t process them, didn’t want to give them any weight. Instead, he rubbed his hands against the wall and ground his toe into the ground and used up his last thought on how inanimate objects don’t feel or do, they just are. He felt, for the first time in his life, jealous of something that wasn’t alive.

    *

                The priest, though at first considered a prime candidate for relentless harassment and random searches of his home, was diligent about keeping to himself and completing his work to the best of his ability. And because of this—over time—he was eventually left alone and considered one of the more decent prisoners the officers dealt with. His reputation was his ticket into Edi’s home where he was being kept, just before being taken away to the prison.

                He knew he shouldn’t have been shocked by Edi’s condition: swollen eye, blood crusted over his nostrils and upper lip, but he just stared. He let the heat of anger and hopelessness wash over him without flinching and without giving away his sadness to Edi.

                “Well,” whispered Edi, his voice hoarse. “Aren’t you glad you didn’t come?” And he smiled. The priest walked over to him and sat down on the floor.

    The priest did something he wouldn’t have risked otherwise, if it hadn’t been for Edi. Leaning forward, he held up his hand and made a small, swift cross in the air and began to murmur a prayer.

                “Tell me something, Father,” Edi interrupted. “Is there really such a thing as Heaven? As Hell?”

                “Whatever you believe there is, there is,” whispered back the priest. “I can’t tell you how exactly those two worlds exist, I’m only certain of the fact that they do. I believe they do.” Edi simply nodded.

                “I heard my grandmother,” said Edi. “Out there. In the woods. She said my name. Just like your stories, I heard my name from someone who was dead. I’m meant to die here,” and his voice caught on the last word and Edi broke down. The priest could do nothing, only blink quickly to keep his tears from falling and put his hand on Edi’s shoulder.

                “You will be alright, Edi. Trust me.” And he squeezed his shoulder.

                As he had promised himself he would do, the priest took out a small piece of paper from his pocket and a pen.

                “Do you want me to write or do you want to do it yourself?”

                “You write, I’ll tell you what to put in there,” responded Edi.

                He began to quickly write down Edi’s words as he spoke them. In this task, he found a purpose he thought he had lost when he first arrived at the camp. It was minor and yet it was what he’d expect of a priest; a final sense of comfort to a man in his final moments. He was going to miss Edi and their nightly talks. Sometimes the priest couldn’t help but wonder if he could’ve prevented him from this fate, but he knew well the stubbornness of man, of that inescapable sin—pride.

                Dear mama, baba…the letter started and continued on to the backside of the page. When they had finished, Edi took a breath and put his head back against the wall. The priest folded the paper and placed it carefully in his pocket. He knew he only had a few more minutes before someone was going to get him.

                “So,” said the priest. “Tell me about your favorite Jack London story.”

  • Three Poems – Anna Malihon

    Three Poems – Anna Malihon

    3.

    She was a complete scatterbrain

    Everything she held fell from her hands

    And she had a memory like a butterfly’s

    A thought in, a thought out.

    She only remembered the path to work and back well

    It was as if she had grown up there herself – in her own greenhouse

    There she would never forget them – the azaleas, orchids, Chinese fici, and also –

    The cypresses and violets, her beautiful children, she adopted their language

    That’s why she was usually silent

    Hey you, cried a gypsy boy with a jaw harp up his sleeve – redhead, buy some music, it’s classic

    I’ll let you have it at a bargain price,

    Do you hear me, red head…

    She turned around, looked unblinking into his eyes and he moved away.

    She took out her notebook, where she carefully wrote down the names of the stars

    Everyday new and different stars, in the morning she learned them, by evening she forgot them

    She ran to the flowers again, not waiting for them to grow, again her gypsy boy with the jaw harp teased

    You somehow had the opportunity to be a dancer in another world…

    “Well, they won’t value you there – they told her!

    It’s enough for you to pull your weeds!”

    “Where? And who will replant the cactuses? And the lemons will become entangled?

    Until then I have the inclination to dance…”

    She would have lived happily this way, but suddenly she lost her journal…

    And the stars chaotically scattered, not one was caught in the sieve of memory…

    They left cold splashes on remaining timid hopes

    Someone likes you, the red butterfly in the greenhouse

    She holds a place for you there, up high

    And you will still shine to yours

    The jaw harp trembles strangely, as if the musician

    Has learned something…

     

    5.

    The unopened fist of a tulip

    In a Pepsi bottle

    Grew still, won’t give away

    Its secret light to anyone…

    Like the way someone plucked us before our blossoming,

    Lost, resold, forgotten at stations

    And we now are in different rooms, buildings, cities.

    Writing the same fate,

    Lit with an inner light.

    I have a tulip in a bottle,

    You have a rose in a jar

    We are girls glamorous or plain

    Flashes of curtailed dances

    In night hallways

    Not able to end this unbroken shared eternal destiny.

    Remember, you promised me..?

    The long shadow of a young stem…

    Falls across the sleepy glass

    At the same time the agate moon reveals

    The cemetery of possibilities

    The lovers grew tired, ate, and drank everything, and left

    No one will take the flowers after them…

    And I crushed you and won’t tell anyone.

     

    ***

    Don’t warm me, puppy. I won’t get up.

    Sand blew fog approached

    on the right – the one who was my captain

    on the left – the enemy with the son of God’s face.

    And life is a piece of paper with a simple code

    an obscure sign near the entrance…

    An umbilical chord, puppy, is like guilt.

     

    So run, while you’re still alive, while you still can, —

    a new day will come and for you crumbs.

    People are lethal to people, don’t get used to them,

    and run through three worlds to my mother…

    She protected so – against chill or virus, God forbid,

    she covered us at night, knitted sweaters to grow into.

    But in the trenches it’s cold – and everything is covered in fog.

     

    Look, there was once a Person – now there are bones.

    A messenger for everyone – a black bird…

    You sigh, creature, it’s really difficult

    and also difficult for me to laugh…

    What is life? A novella. A theme for a poem.

    None of them know about gap years

    or about volunteers and it’s hard

    after lessons to achieve wisdom.

     

    Don’t warm me, puppy. Run to your love, to the west.

    It knows my scent better than you.

    It puts on my tie like a noose

    and ravenously, madly smokes for me.

    The city is sprinkled with secrets, shadows grow.

    It promises to bathe spring in chestnut foam,

    if only from now on

    it ceased to believe and to love.

     

    Sometime our successors will gather here

    bringing our thawed-out memories.

    The dog grass-nettle will grow above the trenches,

    the echo rolling across Europe.