Three Sonnets – Wayne Koestenbaum

 

[o razor in]

o razor in the bathtub, how you
     reify me—
     shampoo, too,
a species of Prometheus, promotes
     bubble déjà vu.
loving my imaginary son, and fain in
     verse to tell.
“you lack vocal chops,” he said, as if I were
     a Mies van der Rohe
     outhouse, a Big Mac
     chiming its grease bell.

 

Barbara Stanwyck is the Coit Tower on the hill
     of my discontent.
Slough of Despond is the coffee shop where I
     dine with Alan Ladd
gaslighting me into marriage, my hair
     a Stockard Channing 
     (Grease) rooster-comb.
I dreamt you fixed a dead lamp just
     by touching it.

 

Hudson river, your blue contains umber
     and lead:  slate
     Siegfried suicide-muck.
let’s conjugate Adorno:  adorno, adorni, adorna,
     andorniamo… I stole
     moral turpitude from you, padre.
“your pubes are a godsend,” I DM-ed him—
     “Star of David suspended 
     in chest forest”—wanting
     praise to land in his solar plexus.

 

quoth judge:  “your objection to daily spontaneous
     art-making habits
     is overruled.”
crispbread’s smooth soft underside, like arm’s
     inner skin, privatized,
     unsexed:  haptic
     regression’s mine.
her death ratifies my smallness—negligibility
     of my unanswered
     earthly envelope.

 

[the color yellow’s]

the color yellow’s importunate tendency to pose
     stamen-rhetorical
     questions:  my eye
     omits the verboten “o.”
dreamt crafty Mildred Dunnock-esque French citoyenne stole
     Sontag manuscript
     (Genet essay draft)
     from my music stand when
     I shut my eyes to take
     a picture of Sontag-scrawl:
fingerpainted André Masson ligatures.  citoyenne hid the manuscript
     in her aqua housedress:  then
     she threatened to run me over
     with her Baby Jane Peugot.
at Singing Sands beach I dared her rage-car to slay me:
     I reached into her housedress
     to retrieve the Notre-Dame-
     des-Fleurs
Sontag-script
     revealing rare expression-
     ist prelude to a style later
     hardening into Volcano.

 

dreamt artist-baby despite speech impediment employed periodic
     sentences when interpreting
     mother-murals refusing
     to encircle and contain.
I hugged the artist-body into feral submission.  malted milk
     crumbs coated baby-skin
     like Yayoi Kusama dots.
dreamt Joan Didion draped her YSL gold-purple jacket over a couch’s
     arm near my exhi-
     bitionism:  no lunch for me,
     and a dead mouse in the pantry.
snubbed my cousin at café:  Botox-smoothed brother-leer in Rambler
     wayback discovered doppel-
     gänger’s career-gangrene—
     my debut, too, a debacle.

 

what if my butt produced peanut butter, edible
     economic miracle,
     nutritional nirvana,
     supernal natural resource?
think of the coverage in Scientific American!  in The
     Wall Street Journal
!
his cousin instantly exited life by falling
     off a ladder:
     heart attack pre-
     ceded and in-
     stigated the plunge.

 

moved by Moffo/Corelli Carmen and vague scent of marijuana
     by sere sidewalk’s
     soiled snowbank.
never gave proper credit to her “Seguidilla,” only now
     reckoning its late majesty.
seek non-toxic paint thinner, if non-toxicity exists:  suspicious
     tingle on tongue 
     augurs termination?

 

[seen, discarded in]

seen, discarded in stairwell:  Corning Ware casserole
     cover—glass, forever
     severed from the squat
     vessel it was meant
     to sumount.
toward you, glass lid, I feel no pointed grief—
     but I acknowledge
     your isolation, urn
     for pot roast fragments rewarmed.
dreamt I witnessed Julie Andrews prove again
     (on Broadway or in
     samizdat screen-test
     out-takes) her mettle—
     a knowledge staggered
(it arrived in timed phases):  my responsibility for proving
     what I’d witnessed
     lay at a 45-degree
     angle to her competence’s
     Agnes Martin arroyo-horizontality.

 

a line breached:  a Cherbourg pinnacle, oneiric yet actual
     (woke to discover
     Michel Legrand had died).
dream punctuation is too complex a topic to broach today.
that lonely aggrieved persecuted feeling when you post a photo
     you consider aesthetic/
     ethereal and it is deemed
     to violate community
     standards—verdict im-
     possible to appeal or reverse.
man, clutching flattened cardboard box, shouting
     “laissez passer,” voice
     hoarse, ravaged, then
     “take it easy, guys”:
     bilingual tragi-
     commotion, like dream

 

last night of early Callas Santuzza, voice cutting
     into stage flats, arc-
     light Voi lo sapete 
a reinterpreted virginity enclosed by rhombus-stain.
dreamt my mother-in-law criticized my dishwashing
     technique:  I in-
     insufficiently valued
     her faux-netsuke
     tea set.  my father,

 

telephoning her beach-cottage, used my childhood
     bedroom’s princess-phone:
     Channel 36 “The Perfect
     36” Bardot-fest poor
     reception UHF Sacramento
porn-hub of Reagan governor manse, my juvie
     nudie-addiction a rebuke
     Situationist-esque to fossil fuel’s
stranglehold on Volk-libido.  time to read Wilhelm Reich?
     time to multiply passerby
     orgasms?  stroke-utopia
     Timothy Leary animism,
     visionary jolt via taint?

 

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